Teaching an autistic child to share isn’t about forcing the moment — it’s about building comfort, trust, and understanding. With the right approach, sharing becomes a skill they can learn step-by-step.
Here’s how to make the process easier and more meaningful for both of you.
Why Sharing Can Be Hard
Sharing is a social skill that relies on communication, flexibility, and understanding others’ perspectives — all areas that can feel extra challenging for autistic children. That’s why patience, structure, and clear expectations matter so much when teaching this skill.
Start with Predictability
Many autistic children feel safer when they know what to expect. Before introducing sharing, talk about what will happen:
- “You’ll play with the toy for two minutes, then it will be your brother’s turn.”
- Use timers, pictures, or short visual schedules to make this even clearer.
Model and Practice Turn-Taking
Turn-taking is often the easiest first step toward sharing. Practice with simple, low-pressure games like rolling a ball or stacking blocks. Celebrate each turn so your child connects sharing with positive emotions.
Use Highly Motivating Items
Start with activities or toys your child already enjoys but is more willing to share. Save their absolute favorites for later. This prevents frustration and builds confidence in the sharing routine.
Offer Choices and Control
Instead of saying “Share this now,” try offering options:
- “Would you like to share this toy or choose another one?”
- “Do you want a short turn or a long turn?”
This helps reduce anxiety and gives your child a sense of autonomy.
Reinforce Every Success
Praise works wonders when it’s specific. Try:
- “I love how you let your sister take a turn.”
- “You waited so patiently!”
Positive reinforcement helps the child understand exactly what they did well.
Make Sharing Feel Safe
If a child is very protective over certain items, it’s okay to have “special toys” that don’t need to be shared. Knowing these items are safe can reduce stress and make them more willing to practice sharing with everything else.
Final Thoughts
Teaching an autistic child to share takes time, patience, and a lot of compassion — but it truly gets easier when we focus on creating a safe, predictable space for them to learn. Small wins add up, and we’re here to support you every step of the way.
At Epic Minds Therapy, we’re passionate about helping families across North Carolina build meaningful progress through personalized ABA support.
Whether you’re looking for in-home ABA or school-based ABA, our team is here to guide you with care, understanding, and evidence-based strategies.
If you’re ready to take the next step, we’d love to connect and help your child grow with confidence. Reach out to us today!
FAQs
How long does it take for an autistic child to learn to share?
Every child is different. Some learn the basics in a few weeks, while others need more time. Consistency and positive reinforcement speed up progress.
Should I force my child to share?
No. Forcing can increase anxiety and make sharing feel negative. Focus instead on gentle practice, structure, and modeling.
What if my child gets upset when asked to share?
Stay calm, offer breaks, and try again later. Use visual supports, timers, and predictable routines to reduce stress next time.
Sources:
- https://www.marcus.org/autism-resources/autism-tips-and-resources/helping-kids-with-autism-make-friends
- https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6061008/
- https://www.stanfordchildrens.org/en/topic/default?id=interacting-with-a-child-who-has-autism-spectrum-disorder-160-46
- https://www.autismspeaks.org/social-skills-and-autism
- https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/family-life-and-relationships/making-friends/parents-and-carers
